Of Lipstick and Baked Goods
by Jade Pilot
Summary: Yoda contemplates the nature of females and their adoration of ObiWan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker.


Yoda hated female fan bases, especially when they obsessed over Anakin and Obi-Wan.

His brow furrowed as he observed the throng of chattering women waiting outside the temple gates. News had reached the holonet that Obi-Wan and young Skywalker would soon be returning from a mission on Ansion. Within minutes, the females had flocked to the temple just hoping to get a glimpse of their two favorites.

Bearing gifts no less! Surely they understood that the Jedi Order was financially funded by the Republic. There was no need for payment of any kind. The flowers they received were just sent to local medical centers to help brighten the day of some patient while they recovered.

And what was the purpose of the female undergarments?

Obi-Wan always seemed particularly embarrassed by these articles of clothing as they were flung from the crowd of females. Did the fans not understand that these simply served no logical purpose? After all, if they wanted to thank them for their service, why not offer them garments they could actually wear?

Yoda sighed…_perplexing it is, how this gender behaves. _It never ceased to amaze him how females who did not even know these two men would follow their every move through out the galaxy. Fan clubs! Web sites! Shirts with pictures! A Jedi has no need for such things. Duty to the Force and his fellow sentients, that is what was important.

Although Yoda would admit that the baked goods were quite tasty.

He turned to look out the window as he heard the frantic intensity of the cheers increase. Obi-Wan and young Skywalker had just arrived only to be enveloped by the hoard of giggling fans. He looked more closely to see…yes, they were doing it again. That strange custom of marking the two men's faces with the paint on their lips. Obi-Wan's own face always flushed a deep red while young Skywalker just smiled at his admirers.

_A talk with him, I must have…_thought Yoda as he watched Anakin grinning and talking to the young girls. He was the one that worried Yoda the most. For although Obi-Wan never seemed to let this sort of thing affect him, Anakin appeared to revel in it. The last thing the Order needed was a Jedi with young Skywalker's abilities forming an inappropriate attachment. That would certainly have devastating repercussions.

Yoda shook his head as the two returning Jedi entered the temple and approached the aging master.

"Master Yoda," said Obi-Wan bowing with respect. His padawan bowed also, but was barely able to keep the smirk off his young paint-stained face.

"Return, you have, I see," replied Yoda. "Went well, your mission did?"

"Yes, Master, very well. We should be hearing from Ansion's representatives very soon." Obi-Wan said standing and falling into step with his former teacher.

"And you, young Skywalker," said Yoda pointedly, "concur with your Master, do you?"

"Yes, Master Yoda, I agree with Master Kenobi's assessments." Anakin smiled, attempting to maintain a look of seriousness.

"Good, good. Then off to the refresher, you must go. Removal of the markings on your face must be your first priority," said Yoda as he walked away mumbling under his breath, but still able to hear the two Jedi.

"See! I told you he would notice," teased Anakin, laughing out loud.

"Yes, yes – once again you are right. Now will you please stop with all this frivolity and go wash your face?" begged Obi-Wan.

"_My_ face?" sputtered Anakin. "You should see _your _face!"

Obi-Wan wiped his face with the back of his hand only to discover it was smeared with lipstick. "By the Force…this isn't a laughing matter, Anakin. What have I told you about encouraging this sort of thing?"

Anakin wailed uncontrollably. "You should see your face _now!"_

"What? Why?"

Anakin made his way to the 'fresher laughing at his master's embarrassment while Obi-Wan followed behind him frantically rubbing his face.

Yoda sighed as he watched the two men walk down the corridor. _Yes…a talk with him, I must have, _he thought. But he sure would miss the baked goods.

end


End file.
